Peer bullying sometimes starts off like a "joke"; however, repeated teasing, exclusion, shoving, and online messages can leave deep marks on a child's self-esteem. Bullying is repeated, deliberate hurting within an imbalance of power — it is not a one-off disagreement.

Could Your Child Be a Victim of Bullying? The Signs

Children often do not tell; their behavior speaks for them:

  • Not wanting to go to school, mornings that begin with "my tummy hurts" (recurring stomach aches/headaches may have an emotional cause)
  • Belongings going missing or being torn; unexplained bruises
  • Changes in sleep and appetite, nightmares, bed-wetting starting again
  • Withdrawing, not mentioning friends, sudden outbursts of anger
  • A drop in academic performance; becoming tense when seeing the phone/notifications (cyberbullying)

What Should the Family Do?

  1. Listen, don't judge: Saying "You should have fought back" silences the child. "Thank you for telling me, we will solve this together" gives reassurance.
  2. Do not blame the child and do not force them to confront the bully.
  3. Cooperate with the school: Talk with the teacher and the guidance counselor based on concrete incidents, with a solution-focused approach; follow up on the process.
  4. Keep records: Note down dates and events; in cyberbullying, take screenshots and block the sender.
  5. If symptoms persist (sleep-appetite disturbances, school refusal, thoughts of self-harm), professional support should not be delayed.

Remember: the family of the child who bullies should not ignore the problem either; bullying is often a cry for help from that child as well.

Self-Esteem: Not "Perfection," but the Courage to Think

Self-esteem does not develop by telling a child "you are wonderful, you are perfect"; it develops by making them feel that they are allowed to make mistakes and that mistakes are part of learning:

  • Praise the effort, not the result: instead of "You are so smart," say "You worked very hard and you did it"
  • Give age-appropriate responsibilities; do not do things for them
  • When they make a mistake, give them the chance to make amends: "What can we do now?"
  • Ask for their opinion and truly listen; let them speak for themselves
  • Do not compare — the fastest enemy of self-esteem is comparison with siblings/peers

Solid self-esteem is the best protective armor against bullying: a child who values themselves is both more resilient to becoming a target and not afraid to ask for help.